The power of the smile is known and experienced by us all, particularly important for those living with dementia. I found in visiting my mother for many years across different care homes I visited as both a professional and a relative non verbal communication and human connection without words are part of the poetry and pain of dementia.
It was interesting today when listening to Jeremy Hunt tell a tale about a care home and asking a manager what kept her going, as part of his work on the Health Select Committee. He reported that the manager said ‘if I can get a resident to smile, they may not remember if but I will – it is a great motivator’.
I am not so sure this is not remembered in a subliminal way though. I wonder what other people have experienced.
Another similar story came from Professor Peter Millard the eminent Geriatrician from St George’s hospital who promoted specialist training for care workers to support older people through a greater understanding of the long term conditions many experience and how best to support them.
He told me once that the Health Secretary in Mrs Thatcher’s government in the 1980’s (when I started working in care homes), Sir Keith Joseph visited some teaching hospitals to better understand good geriatric care at the time. He said to Peter, ‘I have been to several hospitals now, and I am intrigued why all your patients seem to be smiling’ to which he replied’ if you smile at your patients they smile back’!
I am also influenced by what my mother said to me in her last days in a care home about relationship and the importance of seeing the light come into someone’s face.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZvPMIxeCGM
Quality of Life
Someone who listens
Someone to talk with
Kindness and understanding
Someone to laugh with
‘Me’ to see ‘me’ a lot
I like to be liked
I like to please
I like to know what pleases you So that I can pass it on to someone else
Doing things, loving people
Letting them know you are thinking of them,
I like to see the light come into their face because I have said something that really makes them happy,
…….because I had so much unhappiness as a child
It is not so much about what people do but about relationship
Edith Brooking